How to stop comparing yourself to other authors...or at least try 🤦🏻‍♀️

Some tips + musings from this past week

Sooo as you may know, my debut romance novel Match Me If You Can’s cover reveal was a couple weeks ago.

My initial reaction was to be overwhelmed in the best way possible. I got so many notifications of people liking, commenting, and sharing my cover reveal post that my Instagram app crashed. What more does an author want?

Unfortunately, that high faded days later, as did the notifications. Then the worst thing happened: I started to compare myself with other authors whose books were coming out around the same time as mine.

They had more engagement on their cover reveals.

Their Goodreads numbers were higher.

They got featured on more bookstagrammers’ posts than me.

I felt like shit. In some ways, I still do. Not just because I’m scared my book will flop, but because comparing myself to other authors doesn’t serve me, them, or readers. And then there’s the whole “feeling like shit for feeling like shit” spiral.

So I thought I’d talk to you about how I’m going to cope with this vile case of comparison-itis, and how maybe you can too, if you’re in the same boat as me.

Coping Mechanism 1: Don’t compare your chapter three with someone else’s chapter thirty

I’ve learned a lot of things in my years as a certified life coach working with authors, and the biggest lesson is probably that everyone’s journey is different. I may have been writing novels since I was 11 years old, but my stint as a published author is only just beginning. The book of my life is still being written—both by me and, well, fate.

Why, then, should I compare the still-being-written journey of my debut novel and publishing career with those of authors who might be in a different phase of their lives for reasons totally unknown to me?

I shouldn’t… and I won’t.

Coping Mechanism 2: If they can do it, it’s proof that I can, too

If one person has successfully done something once, that is proof that it can be repeated again. Science, you know? A scarcity mindset never helps. Another author getting more likes, comments, or Goodreads adds does NOT mean I’ll get fewer. Someone else selling a thousand copies of their book during their preorders in no way means I’ll only sell ten. If anything, it means readers are hungry for books—which only helps my career.

Why, then, should I allow jealousy to take over and make me spiteful toward my colleagues and allies in this difficult publishing industry?

I shouldn’t… and I won’t.

Coping Mechanism 3: Social media metrics mean literally nothing when it comes to actual book sales

Every debut author frets over their Goodreads “want to read” numbers, negative reviews, and social media engagement. It’s normal. I’m experiencing this right now.

But there was a time before social media when people still found and bought books even if they didn’t follow the author on Instagram. Many readers aren’t as chronically online as you’d believe them to be. One person’s 1-star review (“friends to lovers is such a boring trope!”) could very well convince another reader to buy the book and fall head over heels for it (“friends to lovers is THE blueprint for a good romance novel!”).

Why, then, should I focus on the unimportant, algorithm-controlled metrics when I could instead be working on my next book? Why should I care that my reel only got 20 likes if there’s still a chance that someone could discover my book elsewhere and hit that preorder button?

I shouldn’t… and I won’t.

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Comment below if you’re on the app, or hit “reply” if I’m in your inbox, and tell me if you’ve ever struggled with the comparison syndrome monster. Were these tips helpful? What are your coping mechanisms for it?

Love hard & dream big,

Swati 💛